Raindogblue

A Simple Question, A Straight Answer

 

 

On Elementary, in the Alphabet Streets, I'm in my prowler blocking a crime scene. 

Hipster Barbie walks up to my window and says, "Um , ah, like can you, like, ah, tell me what, ah, happened?"

Yes, a man was stabbed multiple times with a machete. 

She freezes, stares, her mouth gapes,  and finally stutters out, "Ah, what?"

A man was stabbed multiple times. Tourniquets were applied. He's in surgery now. He's expected to survive.

She steps back and drifts away. 

Her blue haired boyfriend asks, "What did he say?"

She wishes she would have never asked in the first place. 

 

 

 

 

Four in Four

 

On the corner of 4th and Misery, I’m on my fourth opioid overdose in as many months. Five empty nasal applications of Narcan are on the ground, but the patient’s lips are still turning blue. He’s unresponsive, so I give a sixth.

After 24mls, an eye peeks open, but then he descends back into the nod.

As the ambulance places the man on the gurney, one of the security guards said when he called dispatch, and asked for me, since he knows I carry Narcan and will use it.

 

 

A Word of Advice

 

Remember, when you die, it is best not to have a dildo shrine next to your head. 

 

 

In the Square

 

A man sits, rocking himself, on the sidewalk. He called dispatch, stating he is being stalked.

What's going on tonight?

"There's a man. He's dressed in all gold. I've seen him twice. He's using a time machine to stalk me. It all started seven months ago, the last time I was in the hospital. "

Did you say time machine?

"Yes."

Time Machine technology does not exist. And since you mention it, how do you feel?

"Great."

Do you feel safe?

"Yes."

Would you like to go to the hospital?

"No. I am fine." 

Are you sure?

 

 

Warrantless Entry Exception

 

If there's report of a fight and weapon, and there's a basketball sized smear of fresh blood on door, you have a warrantless exception to make legal entry. 

 

 

The Mage

 

You may be a magician, the smartest man on earth, and celestial being dwelling on the astral plane, but your repeated expressed angry intent to use "lethal force" on anyone who hazes or cast spells against you forces me to place a hold on you and sending you to the hospital for a mental health evaluation. 

 

 

 

That's Not How It Works

 

Tonight, off 6th, a man called dispatch to complain how a street preacher telling of the story of Joshua threatened him. When I called the complainant, he informed me the 1st Amendment protected him from being offended by speech he did not want to hear and would sue the city if I did not make the street preacher stop. 

 

 

Reward

 

If you catch a stabber, the sergeant gives you a Starbuck's card. 

 

 

On the Jaw

 

In the Alphabet District, on Second, in the doorway of defunct business, I gave two 4 ml doses of Narcan to man with ACAB tattooed on his jaw and 5150 on his eyebrow. He started breathing, woke minutes later, and limped onto the gurney to recover at the hospital. 

 

 

 

Ray's Off Fourth

 

 

Ray is raging again. He is the perfect storm of meth and mental illness. As we roll up, he runs up to Heartbreak and Shotte, screaming, "Who called you? I'm going to fight you."

As he points at their car, he stays, "I know you and I know you!. That is one and two!"

He sees my prowler and charges, and then stops as he sees me. 

He yells, "I like you!"

Ray yells to the spectators, "These cops are my friends. One, Two, Three! They will protect me."

Ray you got to go home.

Shotte and Heartbreaker endorse the idea and more.

It takes a minute for Ray to find his keys and gather his shoes, but he leaves and causes no more disturbances downtown for the night.