Raindogblue

Straight Pipe

 

Yesterday, at coffee, Li asked

if his name on the blog

could be Straight Pipe.

 

Done.

 

Rumor Control

Last night, at the pumps,  G. asked,

"Is it true you wrote five parking tags

to one of your neighbors for parking

the wrong way. "

No. It's not true. 

 

 

Victims

 

 

Decibel and I pinch a man for domestic assault.

He put his wife’s head through a plate glass window.

 

He sits in my cage as Decibel finishes the investigation.

 

He says, “I can’t believe I am handcuffed in the back of cop car.”

 

It’s a mandatory arrest.

 

"What’s going to happen?"

 

You are going to jail.

 

"I can’t believe this is happening to me.

What are my options?"

 

You are going to jail. It’s a mandatory arrest.

 

"What if she asks you to release me?"

 

She doesn’t have a choice.  It’s a mandatory arrest.

 

"Can’t you just let me go?"

 

No. It’s a mandatory arrest.

"Can’t you just release me?"

 

No. It’s a mandatory arrest.

 

"So what’s going to happen to me?"

 

You are going to jail. It’s a mandatory arrest.

 

"When I am going to be released?"

 

After you see a judge.

 

"When’s that?"

 

Tomorrow afternoon.

 

"I can’t believe this. I’m a good guy.

Can’t I just be released."

 

No. The arrest is mandatory.

 

"Can’t she ask for me to me released?"

 

No.

 

"But she’s my wife, and I love her. 

I can’t believe this is happening to me."

 

 

 

D Series

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

KCSO II

 

 

 

 

 

A Complaint

At roll call, the sergeant said he "took particular pride

last night when an irate citizen wanted to make a complaint

against an officer who threatening to hit him with a club

if he didn't stand down. "

 

We don't carry clubs or nightsticks.

We carry collapsible batons

When the sergeant asked the man to demonstate.

The citizen showed the officer pulling his club

from a holder on his back, on the right side

behind the holster for his hand gun. 

 

The sergeant said, "This officer keeps

his baton on left side on the front of his belt. "

 

 

At a Beef

 

Sir, what are you doing

 

"I am calling the police!"

 

Sir, I am the police.

 

"I am calling my police."

 

Who would that be?

 

"The police."

 

That would be me.

 

"I am calling for other police."

 

That would still be me.

 

I want other police.

 

Let me call a sergeant.

 

The sergaent was his police.

 

 

 

 

 

Expectations

This morning at court, my DDA told me there are no judges available

and she is still in trial on another case, expect a set over. 

 

 

Go

 

 

Tuesday's set over is Wednesday's go. 

 

 

13th / State

 

 

In the Breakers, off the State Highway, I self-dispatch to a holding unwanted call.

 

It's hopping tonight. I have more calls in the cue.

 

A man is skating in the aprking lot of a strip mall. The owner asked the man to leave, but the skater refused.

 

On scene, I spot the skater in the parking lot across the street. I roll up, ask, What's the story?

 

"Well, I was just skating and the owner told me to leave, so I told him off!"

 

Why did you do that?

 

"Well, I don't like him acting like he owns the place."

 

But sir, he does.