Raindogblue

Trick or Treat

 

Tonight, while prowling through the South Village,

a young vampire walked up to my squad car

and said, "Trick or Treat!"

I grinned and handed him a sticker.

 
His friend stared and said,

"You can't Trick or Treat a car!"

The vampire raised his hand

to displayed his prize,

and said, "I just did!"

 

 

New Orders

 

As of this week, officers may no longer carry 

less lethal rounds in their gear bags. 

 

 

 

District 9

 

Yesterday, ambulance crews began asking for police escorts for medical calls in District 9.

 

 

District 9

 

Beach Boy and I were detailed with Cal and 2Bs to work District 9 last night. The smell of fecal matter and weed was pervasive. I saw a white Norwegian Brown the size of a chihuahua on the outskirts of the camp. Sickness and scabies are spreading. Campers are building platforms on pallets to lift their tents out of the mud and rain. There is a first aid and food tent and library and child care center, four port-a-potties, and a few generators. At night, most of the protestors go home. The homeless stay. It seems everyone is drunk or high. I responded to one overdose and a half dozen fights.

 

 

Blood Money

 

Per Beach Boy, working overtime on Nights is blood money.

No good comes from it. 

 

I Am Not Your Child's Parent.

 

If your child will not do his homework or his chores,

if he  stays out late or  back talks, I will not

drag him out of your house in handcuffs.

I will not dress him down or put the fear of God into him. 

If your child is hurt, I will give him aid.

If you child is lost, I will help find him.

If your child has committed a crime,

I will investigate the incident and make an arrest if necessary. 

 

But if your child is rude and unruly, don't call me.

I'm not your child's disciplinarian. You are. 

 

 

Jargon: Bumble Bee

 

An officer wearing a bike uniform.

 

Usage:

Roll call was split evenly today between blues and bumble bees.

 

 

Community Policing

 

Yesterday, I rolled by and chatted with one of the good citizens of the North Village.

 

He told me about a car that had sat up on blocks on the street for a few days.

The neighborhood had a chat with the owner.

 

They said, "I'm surprised Officer RD hasn't been by to check on your car yet. He likes to cite cars like this."

 

The man said, "You know an officer by name?"

 

They replied, "Oh, yes. He comes to our neighborhood parties and has been in our homes."

 

The man had the car repaired and off the street by the end of the day.

 

Thin

 

Tonight, Afternoons hired six on OT to meet minimums.

 

 

Losses

 

Per Roll Call,  the convenience store on the edge of District 9 has lost $5000-6000 in merchandise since the Occupy encampment has opened.