On a dead night in the Breakers, outside a dive bar,
a hipster is pissing on the sidewalk.
I flip around and anchor the prowler to the curb,
7David4. Out with one.
When the hipster spots me, his feet turn happy,
stepping left and right. His head swivels
over his shoulder to the empty street behind him.
He’s looking to run.
I pop out and bark,
Have a seat.
I close.
His head swings back.
My left hand’s pointing down to the curb. My right hand’s ready to snag him.
He buckles. He sits
Why are you peeing on the sidewalk?
“I couldn’t hold it.”
The bar’s right there. There’s a bathroom inside.
“I know that’s where I was drinking.”
You could have peed before you left?
“I forgot.”
Right.
I cuff him and take him to jail
and book him for Offensive Littering.
Considering that peeing in public is now considered a sex offense in pretty much every state in the union, I think you did that guy a favor.
Posted by: Adam | October 05, 2010 at 05:53 PM
our DA has us used disorderly conduct
Posted by: deputydog | October 05, 2010 at 07:03 PM
The city where I saw this the most was when I lived in Santa Cruz... something about it being a beach/surfer town seemed to mean it was OK to randomly pee whenever the mood struck.
Posted by: Jade | October 06, 2010 at 11:47 AM
@Adam,
I did the man no favors. He made a mistake. He drank too much and he went to jail.
@DD,
Really? Why? Public alarm? Creating a hazard?
@Jade,
I think there is a bit of Santa Cruz in my neck of the woods......
Posted by: RD | October 07, 2010 at 02:24 AM
people are alarmed to see dudes peeing in public
Posted by: deputydog | October 11, 2010 at 07:56 AM