Raindogblue

Specialized Skills

 

Tonight, when my sergeant asked a hold if she was injured, the woman answered, "Yes."

 She said Snake Charmer and I had "pulled off her arms by rubbing our crotches" on her. 

 

 

Naming the Dead

 

Off Tenth, I'm covering Heartbreaker on an assault. A homeless woman was laying on the ground. A second transient kicked her in the head until she puked.

 

I asked the suspect, Can you please tell me your name?

 

She screamed, "I don't have a name!"

 

What's your date of birth?

 

"I dead! How can I have a birth date, if don't exist?"

 

When you were alive, what did your father call you?

 

"April! May! Johnson!" 

 

 

Surprisingly enough, I find her on the box. 

 

 

Not Nice

 

Betty is spinning, babbling about her children being in a toilet. 

 

I listen. Give concern. 

 

That sounds terrible. Where are your children?

 

She says, “Let me show you!”

 

She walks up and knocks the hat off my head. 

 

 try to de-escalate. That’s not nice. 

 

Then, leans forward and rushes up. Baring her teeth, she bites at my cheek.  The chomp is inches from my face. 

 

I could punch her. I could taser her, but I go with the least amount of force.  As I take her left arm to spin her and direct her away, I say, Don’t Bite Me or……

 

She bites again, missing, as I push her shoulder away from me. 

 

Betty barks, “Watch what I do now!”

 

Before she can bite again, I change tactics. From an escort hold, to arm bar, I push her shoulder down using her arm as a lever. Her shoulder is the fulcrum. 

 

I ease her down, put her arm behind back and pin her to the ground until 1066 and his trainee arrive. 

 

 

Above the Donut Shop

 

At a No-tell,  above the donut shop, 1066, his trainee,  and I checking on Don. Before we knock, We can hear him screaming at himself at the speed of a blender. 

Don won’t open the door, so we talk to him through it. 

When asked what his diagnosis is? He replies, “Alphabet Soup.” 

Tonight, Don is raging against his Skynet Slumlord and insists “women are evil.” On his door, he has written in Sharpie that women are “whores” and “ignorant cunts.” When asked for the source of his anger, Don shouts he is ashamed his mother circumcised him 60 years ago. 

 

 

Medical Transport

 

Yesterday, Mike was in a hospital in Arizona for suicidal ideations.

They gave him a train ticket to the pond.

Tonight, he wanted to cut his wrist under a bridge off 9th.

We put him in an ambulance and sent him to the hospital.

 

 

Two Kittens and a Snake

 

On the second floor of Section 8 building off fourth, a woman insists a snake and two kittens are inside her closet. She tells dispatch, she isn't worried about the kittens.

The apartment is a postage stamp. The closet doesn't have a door. I search inside. Instead of animals, I find purses.

 

 

In The Courtyard

 

Mandy's schizophrenic. She jumped out of a third floor window. The voices told her to. She landed on her feet and shattered her ankles. Her bones have broken her skin. As she lies on the ground, Wight and I each hold one of her hands, so she wound hit the EMTs working on her.

 

 

Force and Feces

 

Naked Guy is finger painting the walls of a closed pub with his own poop. El Cid and Wight are dispatched when he starts whipping around a chain. Wight tells El Cid, "You know we're going to use force on this."

Hoping to tip the scales, I attach and arrive with them. 

Naked Guy is screaming, "Fuck you, you fucking fuckers!" to us and the imaginary people around. 

He's only partially naked. His pants are down. 

I bark, Get on the ground!

He screams, "Fuck you!"

We will use force against you. 

Wight exits with his 40mm Launcher, points to the ground, and says, "Get down on the sidewalk."

Naked Guy sees the launcher, his eyes go big, and he throws himself to the sidewalk. 

Wight barks, "Arms out like an airplane."

El Cid and I swoop in and cuff him. 

Naked Guy has nothing on him, but a soft ball sized turd is lodged between his cheeks.

El Cid pulls up his pants. 

Wight radios for an ambulance for a POH. 

As we wait, the man stops screaming at us, but continues his tirade against the "fucking fuckers" only he can see. 

Four minutes in, Naked Guy slips hands into the back of his pants. His hands are shaped like scoops. I put my foot on his forearm as El Cid grabs his wrist.

Bring your hands out of pants without poop on them.

He freezes, then says, "Take your foot of my arm."

After your take your hands out your pants without poop on them.

He agrees. 

When the ambulance arrives, the crew sedates him and we walk away without a use of force or being sweared with feces. 

Mike

 

Mike is coated in feces, crusted and wet.

He's naked, hair dredded.

Mike hears voices, quarreling with a plant.

He thinks it's 1980. 

He doesn't beef the POH, but I doubt the hospital

will keep him for more than a few hours. 

 

 

Consideration

 

1066 is talking down a jumper. I'm doing my best to aid as the fine citizens below shout for the man to jump. After three hours, six cigarettes, and a bottle of water, the man  believes the auditory hallucinations are from a batch of bad meth, steps down and heads with 1066 to the ambulance.