I finally made time for an art gathering. I haven't
managed to organize a Lady's Art session all school
year.
It has been hard to find time this year for art and for
friends. There have been no art classes, no children's
events (beyond the girls' birthdays), no workshops.
While Sweet G's doctor's appointments continue to
range outward, and (in theory) there should be more
time for, well, life, I find myself tired. There
are things I want to do. A normalcy I long for, but
this gas tank is a bit empty. (Okay, a lot empty.)
It was difficult to let go of these things that mean
so much to who I am, but it has been even harder
to put them back into my life.
Things just take longer than they should. The house is
more cluttered than I like. The messes stay longer,
and the will to push myself to get. stuff. done. is lax.
But this day with sweet people making Ukrainian eggs
was lovely. We ate potluck loveliness and played.
It wasn't a class (although I was the only one who'd
done it before) because I didn't want the pressure of
money and performance and production. I just wanted
good people to play with.
We've surpassed the 9 month mark, since G's diagnosis.
Her professional care is winding down, and soon we'll
be stretching our legs in remission land. She is doing well.
We are doing well. But the wear is apparent on all of
us. I need to make time for more things for me,
the dividends are worth it, but moxie to get it done
is scarce. Perhaps there will be more umph in my
getalong come June.