Marsbarn Designs...

Everyday scientist

I am a scientist.
And that's not a dirty word.

It's not the degree in physics that does it,
nor that I've been paid to wear a lab coat,
nor the calculus done in a past life.

It's the way one approaches life.
It's a questioning of why and how, and then
working to answer those questions.
It's a desire to see cause and effect,
to work a scientific method of research and 
theory into everyday life. 
It is a sense of wonder.
Curiosity.
It is a willingness to say, "I do not know, but I want to."

One of the major disconnects between school and life
is how science is approached.  In most academic
settings science is portrayed as a subject where people
know things. It is a world of absolutes and memorization.
I know Force=(Mass)(Acceleration).  
I know the elements of the periodic table.
It is rules and definitions.
But this is the frame work for science, not what
scientists do in real life.  Scientists out in the world
are searching, asking questions, discovering, working
with unknowns, and putting forth theories.
It is a world of many questions and few absolutes.
It is a taking of what is known, and applying it to 
something unknown.
It is a mindset, not a set of qualifications.

This is how I can be scientist while I nurture my children,
or bake a cake, or sew a better seam, or tend to a 
garden, or organize an art project, or tutor math.
I take what I know, or think I know, I apply it to a new 
setting, I ask questions, I try solutions, I take data,
I listen, I reassess, I try again.

Being a scientist means not staying with what you know;
it means exploring new ideas through logic and
experimentation, learning new things, and, sometimes,
being vulnerable to the unknown.
It means success and failures, and taking risks.

Being a scientist is not related to gender, or age, or
education, or titles.  It is a mindset. 

Thoughts that come when you can't find your dress pants

Tomorrow I'm meeting two men about a project
we will be doing in September.  Well, they'll be
doing the project, I'll be helping, a bit. It is one 
of those events that has nothing to do with my 
being a Mom or a police officer's wife.  What draws
me into this project are events that were set in 
motion before I'd even met my husband.  This is 
one of those very rare events in my life that is just 
about me.

 

Doing something that, while being supported by my 
family, is not about my family sets all kinds of thoughts
moving in my brain.  There are all breeds of "What if's"
flitting around in my head.  

I love my children, and I think my role here is important,
and I have independent interests (my sewing business,
tutoring, art), but still it is something to think about.

I did once think about a career, back in the dark ages 
before children.  After college, I applied for a teacher's
program, but the program was going through a transition,
and they only had a handful of open spaces.  I was 
strongly recommended to apply again the following year,
but by then I was working full time and Big E was in 
grad school.  I was the breadwinner, and the idea of
both of us in school, racking up debt was hard to  
swallow.  And then, well, Big E was a police officer,
and then I was working at another full time job and we
were saving money like fiends so we could have a house
and kids and live the life we do now.

So, here I am.  Living a life I love, but still wondering
what it would have been like if I'd done differently.
There is something tempting about having a "Career",
with a life story that is public and somehow more tenable
than being at home, doing the "small" things that 
make a household tick.  Would I have done "bigger"
things, if I had followed up that first path?  Is there
anything bigger than what I do now? 

It is tremendous to build a family, to be there for
the people you love, to be available. I really don't 
think there is a way to build a healthy police family
without someone firmly planted on the home front.
I have no doubt, no doubt in my mind, that Big E 
would not be the officer he is now if I had a full time 
career.  And with Sweet G's illness this summer and 
fall... well, there was no choice there either.  I am 
needed here, and that is important.

It's just when these opportunities do come around, 
when I have to find my "Big Girl" clothes and realize
that my go-to outfit has been the same shirt and 
dress pants for 6 years, and that those pants are no
where to be found, and I have to think about 
verbalizing what I do, and who I am without my children
and my husband, well... it gives a woman pause.
Just because these are the wheels that are in motion 
now, it doesn't mean that this will always be the
direction I want to go.  It is good to be reminded
that a body has options; that not everything has to 
revolve around the people you provide for, and 
that someday, perhaps, you might be something 
else.

Valentine's Day as an excuse for art making

I started to write this blog post earlier in the week,
but when I was editting photos I realized that perhaps
6,000+ images on the laptop was a tad too many.
So then I started offloading images (from 2012)
to the hard drive, and one thing led to another and then,
well, that's all the time. Poof. Gone. 

 

Valentine's Day. It happened. I got the decorations up
in good time (these are valentines from previous years).
We made lots of valentines, lovely hand made ones.
I even managed to have friends come over and join
us in the creative endeavors.  Two of my workshop
dates were cancelled due to snow, but we were
having so much fun, no one complained.

I made:

Valentines in recylced tins, that opened...

And a valentine house:

a lovely love nest that lit up:

and came filled with a needle felted heart.

and then, of course, there were paper valentines. 

I still need to photograph the valentines I recieved.
I love how Valentine's Day has become an excuse for 
art in our homes.  Yay!

It was our first snow of the year

We had snow, and snow days, and bit of ice at the end.
There was sledding, and more sledding, and snow balls
and tears, and even a few bruises.  Little e played 
and played, and Sweet G was right there with her.
It was such a good long weekend.

Sweet G has never had the energy and the endurance 
she displayed during our snowy goodness. It has 
always been Little e who asked first to go out, and 
was the last to come in.  This time, G led the way.

We are six months from G's diagnosis and hospitalization.
It's been six months of hard, long, exhausting work,
but there has been so much progress.  We still get 
regular reminders of what needs doing, but there is
more time spent enjoying where we are.  

We've gone from hospitalization, to inpatient, to 
outpatient. Once in outpatient, we've progressed from
15 doctor's visits a month, to 10, to 8, to our current
run of 7 appointments a month.  

With each hurdle we've cleared, there have been 
setbacks.  We've wobbled like weebles ("Weebles wobble,
but they don't fall down".), and there are days when 
the only thing to focus on is how far we've come.
But, this snow storm?  It was a gift. 
It was a bright demonstration of where six months
can bring you.

A Bigger on the inside sort of celebration, and a Tardis Pinata

We're having a rare, bonafide Snow Day 
complete with blanketing, gorgeous white
snow, with the promise of more on the way.
And, I am on the first day of a head cold,
my first of the year.  All of this means,
I am sitting down.  In fact, I am sitting 
down with my feet propped on our front,
picture window watching the kids play 
outside.

Sweet G had her birthday last weekend,
and oh, it was well deserved.

We've officially closed down the blah that is 13.
That year is done, gone, buried, in the past.

We welcomed the blank slate of a new year with open
arms and a hand-built box made of cereal box cardboard,
white glue, newsprint, and a coat hanger.

Finding the perfect blue crepe paper was both frustrating
and simple. I ordered two different papers, one turned
out to be a grey navy, and the other hot pink (it was 
a mistake at the warehouse). Then, I found the perfect
blue within blocks of our house. 

As much as we'd like to leave the entire year of 13 
behind, there is much we have to carry forward.
Sweet G is still on a medical rebuilding plan, and is 
still not allowed sweets.  Which left us with a puzzle.
What to fill a pinata with?

Well, there were small balloons with jokes inside.

And then we added, handmade pom-poms, chinese
yo-yos, gel pens, rubber band bracelets made by Little e,
and then I raided my bin of Holiday Market Goods from
days-gone-by. This added fabric crowns and pen holders. 

 

Making the pinata itself was a lot of fun.

Details, details.

 

The pinata was one part of a very fun evening.  G invited
over 4 wonderful friends, for a sleepover.  There was
laughter, games, Dr Horrible, live recitations of Avatar
the Last Airbender, Digbys (G and I made a Digby for
each of the guests), flaming flowers and dinosaur
candles.

 

 

We haven't every done a pinata for either of the girls'
birthdays before, and I think this was the perfect year
to begin.  It was cathartic for all to bash it to bits.

Happy Birthday, Sweet G.  May 14 be a kinder year than
13.