Marsbarn Designs...

We did our best, and now we let it go

The girls are upstairs doing something between
playing and fighting.  The balance keeps slipping,
so I'm not guessing at where the pendulum is at the
moment.  

It's been that sort of year. A year in flux.
A year, in and out of balance.

There's been so much this year that was bad,
or difficult, or heart rending, and we kept plugging
away. "We get knocked down, and get up again"
was a theme of 2013.  At times, the year was a
Where's Waldo of the positive point of view.
We kept at it; finding beauty and holding the 
beautiful moments as we pushed away the bad.

I am still working at sending out our Christmas 
cards.  Big E addressed them all, but I've been slow
at writing personal notes in them.  This isn't unusual.
I often get my cards out after the holiday, and normally
this doesn't bother me.  But this year, one of those 
addressees died, suddenly, shockingly, immediately 
following Christmas.  I have her card here, and she'll
never get it.  I missed her. She wouldn't be angry, 
I know.  But, this missed connection hurts. 

I wrote more this year, which is a bonus. I sewed less,
which is just a fact.  We had kindness find us, in all
kinds of ways, large and small when we needed it 
the most.  There were many times this year where
I felt I could reach and touch the goodwill coming 
to us from near and far.  

We did our best, and now it is time to let it go.
I keep telling the girls that, "We do our best, and then
we let it go."  

I would like 2014 to be year less remarkable than
2013,  but I'm not betting on it. I think we'll say goodbye
to The Tank this year; he has been perfecting the 
slow fade into twilight this year.  Big E will continue
at his work, which always brings a startling mix of 
reality into our lives.  Sweet G's recovery to full health
will continue it's slow journey onward, complete 
with moments of turbulence.  I will be participating
in a science education symposium (Yay!).  And Little e
will continue her evolution from child to pre-teen.

We do our best, and we let it go.
Happy New Year!

Less sew for pay, more sew for me

My little shop will close tonight for my holiday
break.  This means that I will turn my time toward
gift making for loved ones, instead of sewing for pay.
I have grand dreams, as I do every year.  There is
so much to make, so much love to stuff into each
moment.  I will not get it all done; I never do.
Each year I put things aside, and let them go.
This year I really, really want to get them all done.
I feel like I've put aside more this year than I'd like.
I want more marks in the "complete" column, 
and fewer in the "I wish to" column.

I did get a purple minion made for a friend.
Yesterday's plans to meet with a sweet friend fell
through, so I was able to cut and sew a project
from start to finish in one day.  (This is a rarity!)
It felt so good.  And it felt even better to watch
him open it, and love it, today.  

Holiday making

I am prepping for my only holiday market of the season.
Next week, I will close my Etsy shop and turn to gift
making and, perhaps, relaxing. There is so much I've 
left undone this season.  I held no crafting classes,
no baking classes, and I've done no baking.  

I will do no baking.  This is one of our changes this year.
It's one of the ripples that has come from G's continuing
physical recovery.  Food is medicine, and sugared, 
baked goods are not part of that regime.  It might seem
small, but we all feel it.  That part of the holidays,
the making, the smell, the feel of production, the 
aspects we did together and apart, will be missing,
but it is better to have it gone than to do it halfway
and leave our Sweet G out of the warmth.
We will do other things, ornament making, puzzles,
games, but it is still a tangible missing part of our
"normal".  

In truth, it is a small thing. We have friends on much
more difficult eating plans than ours.  G's returning
health, and already regained strength is the
important thing.  The small gains have gathered 
together in to larger ones. G is almost back to full
activity level.  This last week she took two full 
Taekwon Do classes, next week she is planning on 
three.  Her face has such a lovely glow; gone is the 
blue tinged, sallow girl of the summer.  Every day
is another step, and most of them are forward.

So, tomorrow is a holiday market, and the week 
after is the last week of school before the holidays.
Big E is already on his winter vacation, and perhaps
in this week, he and I might find some time together.
I have plans for personal sewing projects, and perhaps
they will happen.  Perhaps they won't. Next week, I
will finish putting up the holiday decorations, or
maybe I'll just put those boxes back the basement.
There is choice in these things, and in this time of
our lives where so much is dictated,  I will take that 
feeling of freedom where I can.