So, I tend to shop locally. I don't normally shop at big chain stores. I do have a Costco membership, but I only use it a couple times a year.
Today I needed to run some errands. Big E needed to work out (he's a buff guy, don't ya know). We came up with a plan. He would drop little E and I off at Costco. I would do my super quick shop (I needed a jumbo bag of lollipops for the school carnival), stop in at Target (to look for lollipops), and then meet Big E at Barnes and Noble at 1:40. This would leave us plenty of time to get Sweetheart G at school at 2:15.
Little E and I shop. Costco; no lollipops, yes to dryer sheets, plastic wrap, and english muffins. Target; yes to lollipops (a bag of 300!, weighs about five pounds). I ask at Target where the Barnes and Noble is because I could not see it on the way in. It is across the superbusy street in a direct line from the Target. Little E and I get there by 1:20. At 1:35 we have a bathroom... situation. That's handled and we are out on the sidewalk in the 85 degree sun waiting at 1:45.
More waiting. No husband. Did we miss him during the bathroom episode? Where did he go? At 2:10, I drag little e, my groceries, and my purse which smells very strongly now of dryer sheets back across the very busy street so I can look down into the Target parking lot. No man. Return to B&N dragging saintly child.
Hey, who is that hysterical woman in the Barnes and Noble crying at the clerks because she can't find her husband, and her daughter needs to be picked up at school in thirty seconds?! Oh, that's me! I call the gym, my mother, Target, Costco, and the school. After telling the ubber fabulous school secretary that I have misplaced my husband, and to please keep G in the school office, I wait some more. And cry. Yes I cry and snivel in the bookstore. Visions of horrible accidents, terrible misunderstandings, strange happenings at the gym fill my pounding head.
At 2:30, I call the school again. Big E has been seen! He has Sweetheart G. He has been informed of the location of the Barnes and Noble! He is on his way. At about 2:45, Barnes and Noble waved goodbye to their mad woman who smelled of Bounce and her cute patient child. (I am shocked they didn't call the police on me... Scary woman with a four pack of english muffins and 300 lollipops at the info desk..)
The flip side? Big E didn't know that B&N had moved. They used to be behind his gym. I didn't know he didn't know that the store had moved. (See how this could be confusing?) He assumed the store had closed, and that I would go back to Target to meet him. When he couldn't find me anywhere, he picked up G. When the school said, "Oh your wife's still at the Barnes and Noble!" He shouted, "What Barnes and Noble?!" It turns out he couldn't see the new location from where he waited.
That was my fabulous adventure. I don't think I've been that upset since Big E's accident 6 years ago. I can't believe I lost it in the B&N!